Michelle's corner

Over on Rod Raglins thread - http://rodraglin.booklikes.com/post/1267228/too-anti-social-for-social-media - jamesfaint7 put forward the following question...

“There seems to me to be a conflict of interests between making online friends and the agenda of promoting books. How do you handle this?”

I wanted to have a stab at answering this question, as I have sort of answered it in bits and pieces in other posts in other places already.

I can't really promote my books. If I did that, then people would stop listening to me and I wouldn't get anywhere. Promotion has to be done by the books themselves, by being such that the people reading them, feel they want to shout about them.

I do discuss them, the process of creation and surrounding issues; some people genuinely do want to know those experiences ... but that's not standing on the corner with an armful of printed copy proclaiming, "Read all about it!"

I've also witnessed enough authors going off the deep end about bad reviews to know that, you don't do it! Long term reputation is critical. It is easily damaged and impossible to win back. People running sock accounts have been found out in due course. Authors are turning to some very nasty methods of promotion and they're getting discovered at some point down the line. Trust is, as far as I'm concerned, the strongest currency on the internet. Frittering away trust is like letting liquid gold dribble through your fingers.

A friend will tell you what's wrong with a book; they'll be honest but they won't have a personal dig. That's the kind of feedback you grow from. An enemy will spit pure venom at me, not the book; nothing I can do will defend against that sort of crap, best thing is let everyone see how vindictive they are. It's their own reputation they'll wreck in the process.

Does the unjust criticism (personal attack) hurt though? Yeah. Sure it does. And sometimes I'll go off in the corner and have a cry; fortunately it hasn't happened to me that often. I'm a tiddler in the ocean; not a worthwhile target for hatred.

Many of my face-to-face friends have known me for a few decades. I know that if they think I'm wrong, they'll stand toe-to-toe and tell me so, because they give a damn.

I now correspond with so many people in PM on different services that I can have a tough time of it; particularly being dyslexic in a world where people change handles and avatars.

I also have a rough time in face-to-face situations when people change sites at work, and then I'm seeing them out of context and recalling their names, etc. throws me a real curve ball. Fortunately, most know me already and cut me some slack.

But the difference between on-line friends and real friends is a very fine line; not the chasm that some would believe it to be. I've now met a number of people face-to-face that I first met on-line. One of them not only designed a couple of my web sites but also helped me move home! That has now been a real life friendship for more than a decade.

Only last October I was in Germany and The Netherlands, meeting people in person for the first time since knowing them via YouTube. The Netherlands guy was incredible; we were sat at his kitchen table, each of us star-struck with the other!!! It was so funny! We actually went for a walk together, played some console games and stuff ... good fun. The other showed me Mannheim, helped me do some business in her area that I needed to get sorted out (which was why I did that trip to Europe in the first place) ... went shopping, did cocktails... great time.

I hope in the future, to go to the US some day, and shake hands with some folks. There are some odd toilet laws concerning transsexuals in the USA, however, and the reports of official violence/intimidation against minorities, particularly from border control, has me concerned; but I'm sure with the right research I can flatten all that out before the time comes for me to cross the pond.

A good chunk of people, I do fall out of touch with. But that has been the same in both the on-line and face-to-face world. There are people I meet at the bus stop, the train station, in a queue for tickets ... we strike up conversation and enjoy each others company for the short time that we're in the same space. That's life.

There's no real conflict of interest between promoting books and making on-line friends in my opinion. There is, however, a shameful behaviour of using people to achieve your own ends ... and that sucks.

To an extent (and I was thinking about this since one of my earlier postings) when I'm at the convention, standing on the open side of the table, one thing I won't be able to do, is openly put my book in the hands of unsuspecting people and force myself on them. I'll be there, accessible, approachable and honest ... and that begs another question ... where is the line between strangers and the agenda of promoting books?